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If I was being honest with the title of this post, I probably would have called it something like “How to write a good first message according to what Single Steve thinks is a good first message, but I’m not really sure you should take my advice because I rarely get responses to my messages”.

So, as you can see, it doesn’t really have the same ring, or appeal to someone searching on how to write a good first message for online dating.

But first, there’s one important question to consider – do you invest 15-20 minutes writing one custom message, painstakingly crafted to include specific details mined from her profile?

Or do you go the “mass appeal” route, and fire off the same message to 15-20 women in that same amount of time? You spend 20 minutes composing The Perfect Message. The point is, that's 20 minutes of your life you'll never get back.

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You may get a response, you may not – and there's a lot of reasons for a lack of responses. Maybe she’s seeing where things go with a guy who got there first. That's roughly 166,666 messages being sent every hour – one of which was yours. Let’s push the odds of meeting someone back in your favor. In a nutshell, he said the copy/paste strategy is 25% less effective in terms of response rate, when you compare the effort you put in to the results you get back.

A thought-provoking, fun, playful message that stands out from the crowd of “hey, baby what's up” and “hi” messages from all the losers who haven't read our blog. Make it easy for her to respond by asking a question in your message.

Once you come up with a few good ones, test them out and keep the winners. And here's where the copy/paste strategy comes into play.

To look at it a different way, using a template message is 75 percent as effective as creative a custom message, and a hell of a lot faster.

Of course, we here at Vi DA have been saying that since 2010, but it’s always nice to have an irrefutable data source on our side…If you want better results in less time, copy/paste is hands-down the way to go.(Further reading: This section of ‘Dataclysm’ reprinted on NYMag.com)Sounds great, but I still need a message…No, what you really need is an icebreaker.




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Its purpose was to create a space for pony fans and others who wanted a middle-ground between the sprawling, overly-numerous boards of Ponychan with its highly moderated, stringent environment, and the unmoderated, single-board chaos of unregulated spam, porn, and trolling of 4chan.


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Even with all that working against the idea of true love, there have been men and women who have found each other, and against all odds, ended up living happily ever after together (well, so far, at least).


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And getting myself into messy and upsetting situations over and over again. I’ve discovered Anthony Robbins and I’m currently working through his Get The Edge CDs, trying to get my career and emotions and confidence on track…


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