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I’m just a nice Jewish girl looking for a nice Jewish guy. My mother wouldn’t murder me were I to ‘marry out’ but her heart would be so decimated by the nuclear bombdrop of a wedding planned without kosher catering that I’d probably wind up shooting myself in the face anyway.

It would be ideal were I to bump into world renowned hot Jewish funny man Jason Segel outside a bagel shop at midnight (How in the Jewish dating laws of probability is Jason Segel single btw? We’d end up at a better bagel shop the next morning, for breakfast. I have, however, accepted that I’m never going to haphazardly stumble upon my perfect single Samson in the city, ask him in our opening five-minute meet-cute if he’s Jewish, receive an affirmative response, immediately recover from that line of curveball questioning by not appearing remotely desperate, while also pocket-texting my mum ‘CAN YOU PLEASE KEEP THE KOSHER CATERER ON STAND-BY? Second, I am plagued by the concept of ‘Jewish guilt’ which results from several thousand years’ worth of ancestral hardship to keep Judaic culture alive, dating all the way back to the parting of the Red Sea.

I’ve been to the singleton Friday Night buffets, the Jewish Speed-Dating evenings in ‘hip’ bars like Gilgamesh and the charity parties.

Every time I walk away, still single, realising that the real charity case here is actually me.

Talking her way through seemingly impossible situations takes some serious mental savvy. She may not quite have come to the age where she’s perfected her mom’s brisket (don’t worry, it’ll happen one of these days), but dating her means dating her mom…I’m Jewish, and the answer to your question depends on all the things you left out.You didn’t mention whether or not she is a religious Jewish person or a secular Jewish person.I never expected it to be more than a summer fling, but things escalated quickly. "And I can't marry a non-Jew."I then explained the concept of a -something that would bring shame upon oneself, one's family, and the entire Jewish community.On our fourth date I informed him in no uncertain terms, "This can't go anywhere.""Why? Based on my upbringing, I would feel guilty for betraying generations of Jewish martyrs who had died so that I could be free to be Jewish.I was a "nice Jewish girl" looking to date a "nice Jewish boy" when I met him.He was a nice secular non-Jew from Seattle whose religious identity was rooted in memories of hanging stockings on Christmas and eating chocolate on Easter.If you’ve ever seen the movie “Jewtopia” (you probably haven’t, and it’s perhaps best if you keep it that way), you know the Jewish woman stereotype — they love to boss their men around (lovingly) while making sure to feed them (amply).Though I’m a Jewish woman who doesn’t necessarily fit these stereotypes, many of them ring true enough to list here. Should you wear the blue suit jacket or the gray one for your next job interview?As with the suits, so she’ll tell you exactly what you need to hear about your everyday actions.If you have any failings whatsoever, she’ll point them out to you…So you’d have to ask her out, or at least ask her how she feels about dating a non-Jew, before you’d even know the first thing about your chances with her. A few weeks ago, Elite Daily brought you The 23 Qualities Your Jewish Husband Must Possess. While every man is presumably looking for different qualities in his wife, we possess outstanding ones that any sane man should want. Our ability to drive 4×4's and park them horrendously is commendable, and we're more than willing to hold charity events in our homes.He also believed that marriage was "tough enough as it is" and "easier if you start with a common culture, religion, and values." Years ago, my father threatened to disown my older sister if she married her non-Jewish boyfriend.I didn't think he would have had the heart to do it, but the relationship ended before his will was tested.




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