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But you do need to make sure you go about this right.

Luckily, a woman can approach this in pretty much the same way a man does, and that’s where I can help a sister out.

Queer communities are often small and insular, and once you've found one, you tend to hold on to it for dear life.

It's difficult to meet people you're romantically interested in beyond an already-defined circle, and outside of your city's queer scene, most people you run into are likely to be straight.

Like it or not, we find ourselves appreciating our buddies’ tastes in women (what can I say, great minds think alike! Say a friend of mine breaks up with so-and-so, and we run into her at a party. Guys and gals get to know their friends’ significant others in nonthreatening, no-pressure contexts and learn to appreciate what their friend liked about them. You’re into it, he’s into it, there’s some serious chemistry, and you might have stumbled upon something really special. In discussing this topic with my female friends, it seems to me that men are especially experienced in dealing with this dilemma. Now, you’re faced with a most unenviable predicament: Walk away from someone who could end up being the love of your life, or put one of your friendships in jeopardy.Lots of people have told me unequivocally that they would never date a friend's ex.They wholeheartedly believe that it's wrong, disrespectful, and if a friend did that to them, they'd never talk to that person again.This rule is almost never stated or enforced among queer communities.If you're gay, you will almost inevitably date a friend's ex at some point.Even if you meet someone to whom you think you have no previous connection, a 10-minute conversation almost always reveals that she went to high school with your college roommate, used to be on a volleyball team with that girl from your book club, and had a six-month stand with your favorite barista.Queers don't tend to expect our dates to come into our lives completely free of prior complication.The reality is that it’s just too weird and uncomfortable for most people to want to deal with.” Therapist Karen Sherman agrees.“The only time it might be okay is if your friend has moved on to another relationship,” she says.“Even if the two of them have split, emotions take a while to heal, so it’s unlikely that the friend is going to be okay with it.” But not all relationship experts see it this way.“It’s ok to move in if they are estranged and no longer in love and divorcing,” says matchmaker Marla Martenson. It could be right under your nose, and circumstances have to shift for things to evolve.” As Martenson points out, “It’s a delicate situation, but why let a potential love match get away?The news about Simon Cowell getting it on with his good friend’s wife — or estranged wife, depending on who you talk to — has sparked a great debate once again.Under what circumstance is it acceptable to pursue your friend’s former love interest? because I just don’t see why of all the people in this world you need to choose to put yourself in such a complicated situation. Read on for Fox News Magazine editor Meghan Sharp’s guest blog about this very subject: Simon Cowell recently sparked some scandalous headlines when it emerged that he is set to become a father — with the wife of his close friend.

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