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Everything’s great when we spend time with each other. It doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy who “uses” women and is totally selfish; it just means he has other priorities in life right now (like his career.) He’s afraid that if he says yes to your proposal with the little he can offer, he will fail to live up to your relationship expectations. At this stage of the game you’re excited to see him whenever he can make the time. Suddenly you’re feeling sad and neglected when he doesn’t make time for you, rather than appreciating him for when he does.We do get intimate when we see each other and at other times we just hang out. The little he is able to give you is enough to satisfy and make you happy. The dynamics will grow tense and the innocent joy you felt with each other will drown in the overwhelming tides of expectations and disappointments.

Look at things for what they are and not more than that.

Dear Lauren, I’ve been hanging out with this guy for 4 months. I know it doesn’t seem like much to you; after all, you’re already hanging out, you’re already intimate, all you want is to make it official and take the fun to the next level! He’s busy, he’s young, and he wants to have fun without the “drama that relationships inevitably bring.” (Do I know these guys or what?

He’s a fashion designer and writer so he’s always busy. -Cerise Hey Cerise, He didn’t answer you because an answer might mess with the status quo and he likes things the way they are now. ;-) At this time, he doesn’t have a lot to give to a partner.

I’m guessing there are other readers out there that feel this way, especially when both people are working in the same field, firm, company, etc.

How do we deal with this competitive nature so that it doesn’t destruct an otherwise perfectly good relationship?




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Derrick Duff, currently serving as Secretary of LCHIC, is an advocate for rural health issues and serves as the LCHIC Representative on the Pennsylvania Rural Health Association. Duff will serve as the Chair for this new Rural Health Task Force. and has spent over twenty years in the healthcare industry working in both direct patient care and administration.


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All we need to do is look in the Old Testament to see why God says not to marry unbelievers. "When the Lord your God shall bring you into the land where you are entering to possess it, and shall clear away many nations before you, the Hittites and the Girgashites and the Amorites and the Canaanites and the Perizzites and the Hivites and the Jebusites, seven nations greater and stronger than you, The reason not to marry an unbeliever is that he/she can influence you away from the Lord.


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